"Killers," a new action romantic comedy, is atrocious. Sluggishly paced, terribly formulaic, and almost ridiculously unfunny, it fails on almost every level.
The film follows (insert rich blonde played by Katherine Heigl here) in her attempt to find love after (insert failed romance here). While vacationing (insert tropical locale here), she meets (insert secretive dude played by Ashton Kutcher here). Little does she know that he is actually a (insert spy, assassin or other secretive profession here). Also causing trouble is (insert equally shady dad character played by Tom Selleck here). When (blonde) and (dude) get married, (blonde) begins to find out more about (dude)'s past. Will (dude)'s secrets ruin his relationship with (blonde)?
I think you know how this story ends.
But what makes "Killers" especially awful is its attempts at originality. While the film starts off as a generic romantic comedy, it quickly devolves into a weird, yet still generic, attempt at a motion picture. While weird is usually a plus in my book, "Killers" is weird in all the wrong ways. Instead of being weird in an intellectual or experimental way, the film is weird in a stupid way. In fact, the film gets more stupid as it goes along. By the time the film reaches its climax, the plot becomes utterly preposterous.
Mr. Kutcher and Ms. Heigl unfortunately do nothing to save the film. Kutcher, trying to play a secretive assassion, comes off as dull. Heigl, trying to play a down-on-her-luck single woman, comes off as whiny. Needless to say, they make for a pretty uninteresting couple with little to no chemistry.
To conclude, it is the worst film I've seen this year. But, again, those opening credits were nifty!
D
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